Written by Scrappy Perez Thursday, 03 June 2010 00:00
Get your sunscreen ready, lower your standards to 40%, and say 'Sayonara' to your friends at the AA group meetings 'cuz Gay Days at Disney is here again! Man, I sure do hope I don't drink as much as I did last year. Have you ever been so drunk you end up realizing you have been playing poker with tarot cards for two hours straight? I ended up with a full house and the realization that four people were going to die. So anyway, as I am preparing for what is sure to be this summer's answer for the many months of sexual neglect, I realize the theme is based on 'Heroes'. I have always had a fascination with superheroes so I'm more excited than Raúl de Molina from El Gordo y La Flaca at an all-you-can-eat buffet. What is this fascination that most gay men have for superheroes? I guess, in a way, we can all relate to them.
Especially during those days before we come out of the closet. At work they are meek and unappreciated. When they are around other people, they can never let anyone get too close for fear that their true identity will be discovered. Yet with all the villains trying to destroy them, they somehow survive. I believe the same about us. That's what the comics have shown us; that despite everything we will survive and we'll win. And we'll do it wearing a nice set of tights.
My favorite superhero has to be Batman, because he was the only character in the Justice League who was a human being without superpowers and still he managed to be as reliable as all the others. My least favorite one has to be Aquaman. Who would ever think of creating a half man-half sushi hero whose powers are limited when outside of the water? Heaven forbid one encounters themselves in a bank robbery and he happens to be the only one around to help because all he could ever do at the time is throw seashells and seaweed at the windows in hopes to distract the robbers until the police arrive since he can't leave the comfort of the water.
Heroes have changed nowadays. Even those people who used to cause us fear have become gentler and heroic. Take Twilight, for example. Vampires used to be a thing to fear until this movie came along.
So, in conclusion, take the time to remember the heroes in your life and thank them for everything they have done for you. I'm talking about your parents, your friends, your teachers, law enforcers or even that nice man on the other side of the wall in the bathroom stalls who promises not to use teeth and follows through. Remember always to return the favor: take them out for dinner, become a mentor to a younger person and of course, be gentle when you see that “little feller” poking in through the hole in the wall. Have a great summer, bitches!