Pop Culture Hit List

Adora:  Teddy, have you heard about the series of interviews that Octavio Campos and Dale Penn are producing with Rick Delgado for their project, “Please Don't Hate Me”?  They started the whole thing during Sleepless Nights after the suicides of young GLBT kids started last year.  Now, if they get the funding, they'll be able to edit the interviews they've assembled.

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect.  Thank God you have yet another opportunity to make your life a bit better with resolutions you will be sure to remember for two whole weeks! Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle and we all know it, so why go through this again? How about some resolutions we will be sure to keep like spending more time watching TV, read less, put on at least 30 pounds, drink some more or take up a new bad habit?

Maybe some dogs are too old to learn new tricks. I have been training my pups to stay on their own bed at night and yet, every morning I wake up looking like Dr. Freaking Doolittle with both dogs, a cat and my boyfriend on me! If you own pets, don't let them climb on your bed. It creates bad habits.

 

 

And the world gives birth to yet another baby year with the hopes and promises that it will be better than the last. Speaking of babies, my sister just had a baby girl making me an uncle for the second time! I am so glad this crusade is over so I don't have to hear the stories about chocolate ice cream with sardine cravings or the whole “I was in labor for 600 hours without pain killers!” I keep arguing with her about how it is far more painful to get your junk stuck in your zipper when putting your pants on. I don't have babies myself, but I used to make up for it by dating lots of drunk guys.

Living in America has kept me away from my own culture so long that I'm starting to forget it. What does being Latino/Hispanic mean to me? What have we contributed to the American public aside from reinforced border patrols and heartburn?

Get your sunscreen ready, lower your standards to 40%, and say 'Sayonara' to your friends at the AA group meetings 'cuz Gay Days at Disney is here again! Man, I sure do hope I don't drink as much as I did last year. Have you ever been so drunk you end up realizing you have been playing poker with tarot cards for two hours straight? I ended up with a full house and the realization that four people were going to die. So anyway, as I am preparing for what is sure to be this summer's answer for the many months of sexual neglect, I realize the theme is based on 'Heroes'. I have always had a fascination with superheroes so I'm more excited than Raúl de Molina from El Gordo y La Flaca at an all-you-can-eat buffet. What is this fascination that most gay men have for superheroes? I guess, in a way, we can all relate to them.

 

As I am preparing to start my day with a positive outlook in life, I did the unthinkable. I watched The Maury Show! You think that's bad? Wait until I tell you what I saw on Lifetime TV. Surprisingly, he was not administering one of his infamous paternity tests. The topic was on cheating. Oh boy! It seems unfaithfulness does to ratings what D batteries do to my vibrator. This woman is screaming at the top of her lungs, “I did not cheat on you and that kid is yours!

 

We survived another Christmas! Ah… Christmas, the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. A time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his “present” remembered. A time to remember that it is no coincidence your family lives so far away and your state of mind is so healthy at the same time. This year, Christmas really felt like a day at the office: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

It’s that time of the year again…Thanksgiving! A time to celebrate togetherness with family, have a big meal and endure a mountain of passive-aggressiveness while passing the salt over the table. Some people like to think of this day as their favorite childhood memory being recreated year after year. I like to think of my Thanksgiving dinners with family as “El Show de Cristina.” It’s also the time when turkeys everywhere wear signs on their necks that read “EAT MORE HAM, PLEASE.” I am sure there are many things we could be thankful for and I am glad there is a special day to remind us of that, but do we really need to glorify this day so much when its origin has been so misconstrued?

What is it about Halloween and the horror genre that holds an interest for queer folk? At first glance, it seems strange for queers to want to turn to horror, when that's often what our lives involve. There is the threat of many sexually transmitted diseases, the religious harassment, hate crimes, discrimination and prejudice…not to mention fluorescent lighting, Formica coffee tables and poorly decorated apartments. But no matter who we are, fear is an emotion triggered by danger, and courting danger is a great way to feel alive.