Written by Scrappy Perez Friday, 11 March 2011 00:00
Maybe some dogs are too old to learn new tricks. I have been training my pups to stay on their own bed at night and yet, every morning I wake up looking like Dr. Freaking Doolittle with both dogs, a cat and my boyfriend on me! If you own pets, don't let them climb on your bed. It creates bad habits.
Speaking of bad habits, I know music is an expression of the soul, but what is up with people dedicating songs to express how they feel? You want to tell him he's a cheap skate? Then, send TLC to sing to him that you “don't want no scrub”. You want to make him drop his current boyfriend for you? Then have Taylor wail on how “you belong with me”.
I had an ex who once dedicated Bryan Addams' “Please Forgive Me” to me. “Please forgive me… I know not know what I do. Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.” Oh, I see! I guess this excuses someone's behavior and explains why they've been stalking and calling me incessantly for months. How sweet. Bryan Addams sings “please, forgive me” 15 times in this song. There's a red flag right there! What did one do, to deserve punishment and ask for forgiveness so many times? Now, thanks to my ex, every time I'm at the local bar and someone plays this tune in the jukebox, I run out with my hands in the air screaming, “Oh my god, he's here!!!” At least, have the balls to apologize in person for what was done. A recorded CD will not really do the trick.
Of course, that's an old “trick” that we have in our culture. Notice how in American films, those who do wrong get away with murder with a nice little musical number or by holding up a stereo and playing our favorite song by our window or dedicating a special tune on the radio. These things pass for a happy ending. That's why I'm so into foreign films. They present challenging subjects, not-so-happy yet necessary endings and courageously explicit climatic scenes. But most of these movies never get the exposure they deserve because, in this land, we don't like subtitles! This is the struggle I face with my friends:
Me: “Let's watch this flick. It's from Russia.”
Them: “Is it dubbed?”
Them: “I think Vampire Diaries is on right now.”
It's like trying to give pills to my dog! Do you think “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon” or “Life is Beautiful” would've made the cut unless Hollywood made a big deal about them? It wasn't until their Oscar nominations that dubbed versions of these films were mass produced. When they are not dubbed, we spend millions of dollars to recreate and “Americanize” already-perfect movies. Now “Ringu” becomes “The Ring”, “Let the Right One In” becomes “Let Me In”, “La Femme Nikita” becomes “Point of No Return” and “Death at a Funeral” goes from its British version to an all-African-American cast.
People, there's a world out there that produces good films, TV shows and great music just like we do! Ok, you can start with some of the great foreign ones nominated in last month's Academy Awards. But once you're done with them, find others to learn something new and be really entertained. Would you like me to teach all of you doggies out there a few new tricks? Here you go. SIT! WATCH THIS SPANISH FILM AND STOP SNIFFING THAT GUY'S BUTT! Have a great spring, bitches!