Written by Scrappy Perez Friday, 07 January 2011 00:00
And the world gives birth to yet another baby year with the hopes and promises that it will be better than the last. Speaking of babies, my sister just had a baby girl making me an uncle for the second time! I am so glad this crusade is over so I don't have to hear the stories about chocolate ice cream with sardine cravings or the whole “I was in labor for 600 hours without pain killers!” I keep arguing with her about how it is far more painful to get your junk stuck in your zipper when putting your pants on. I don't have babies myself, but I used to make up for it by dating lots of drunk guys. You would often catch me saying things like:
• “Awww, how cute… he's drooling”
• “Oh my god, he said my name!”
• “Who's your daddy?”
• “Oops! Somebody made a boo-boo. Let's go home and clean you up, you piggy.”
It amazes me greatly to see the fervor, time and money invested on drinking alcohol in our community. Just in Wilton Manors alone, we can give driving directions by using any of the 14 bars as points of reference! Why do we, as gay men consume more alcohol than anyone else? What is this void we try to fill, if any? Many are the theories: drinking facilitates sexual encounters, it allows you to be less shy when talking to people, it releases endorphins needed to forget about your troubles, and there are simply not that many options, other than the bar scene, making us all prone to repeat the same outing experience over and over again. There's nothing wrong with the bars. I myself enjoy the company of my good friend Martin E. Glass. But we, as a community, tend to do this in excess.
Did you know there is a gay cruise, gay bowling night and gay midnight kayaking? Have you ever hosted a pot luck, game night or theme party at home? What ever happened to the movies, the theater or the beautiful beaches that surround us? Take on a new hobby, invest on a gym membership, read more, indulge in shopping or travelling. There are many options that are just as fun. By all means, have a drink and toast to your life. But for goodness sake, at least if don't drink like Liza Minelli and you too can avoid having Lindsay Lohan's police records. If the number of drinks you've had matches the number of times Elizabeth Taylor has been married, you probably too much.
I understand that there are many reasons why we would want to be plastered 24-7: the holidays filled with crazy shoppers and those pesky holiday parties we HAVE to go to, the politics of our nation and our economic situation, the fight for marriage and a safer military life, among many other things we try to squeeze in among other things. I know sometimes life may seem like a gigantic evil-ridden monkey just flinging excrement in our faces, but no matter how crappy things may seem, there is always the promise that things happen for a very powerful reason and they will always improve in the end.
Who am I kidding?! Go ahead, have a barrel of beer before things get any worse. I'll be right there next to you in a matter of seconds buying us both the first, second and third round of drinks! Have a happy New Year, babies!