Written by Scrappy Perez Thursday, 05 November 2009 00:00
Thanksgiving? No, Thanks!
By Scrappy Perez
It’s that time of the year again…Thanksgiving! A time to celebrate togetherness with family, have a big meal and endure a mountain of passive-aggressiveness while passing the salt over the table. Some people like to think of this day as their favorite childhood memory being recreated year after year. I like to think of my Thanksgiving dinners with family as “El Show de Cristina.” It’s also the time when turkeys everywhere wear signs on their necks that read “EAT MORE HAM, PLEASE.” I am sure there are many things we could be thankful for and I am glad there is a special day to remind us of that, but do we really need to glorify this day so much when its origin has been so misconstrued?
When asking some of my Latino friends about celebrating this holiday they say, “We don't celebrate this holiday, because it's rude to our Indian ancestors who had their land stolen from them.” I never thought about it that way. All these years, I’ve been too busy stressing over having the perfect dinner with my friends…not to mention trying to beat Martha Stewart at having the better centerpiece. But, it made me think, “how can I celebrate on a day in which most Native American descendants and their families mourn their people?” It’s almost disturbing to think two different cultures observe the same exact day on the same land with different agendas. Yes, it’s true that the Pilgrims came over here in search of religious freedom, but let’s not forget what really happened between them and the American Indians who were the first to settle here.
I think that if we are really going to celebrate Thanksgiving, we should go “old school” the way our ancestors did and instead of filling our children’s heads with that whole “Indians and Pilgrims came together to feast” crap, let’s go to our neighbors’ gardens and eat their crops after settling in their homes instead. Or we could play a spirited game of pin the arrow on the Pilgrim’s Heart. I don’t mean to be a sour puss, but do I really want to pretend I care about this holiday another year? Most people don’t even know the history behind it or why they do it. We all act like robots around this time. A command triggers in our circuit when November comes along and everyone’s walking around mouthing, “MUST FIND THE TURKEY!”
I guess there are many things I can be thankful for. I am thankful for gyms and all the hot boys that make it impossible for me to not to stare when they are working on those squat thrusts. Incidentally, I am also thankful for penicillin. I am thankful for cell phones that have allowed me to never have to use my brain to remember ANYTHING ever again. I am also thankful for chocolate. My pants may never fit me again and I may punch a mirror every time I see acne on my face, but you are still the most delicious thing on this Earth! And lastly, I am thankful for anti-depressants without which I wouldn’t be able to have a cheerful disposition during the holidays year after year.
So, in a nutshell, I will shop for a turkey but most importantly, I will leave my anger where it really belongs…at the dinner table with my family.