Written by Scrappy Perez Thursday, 01 October 2009 00:00
Scream if you know what I did last Halloween with the exorcist
By Scrappy Perez
What is it about Halloween and the horror genre that holds an interest for queer folk? At first glance, it seems strange for queers to want to turn to horror, when that's often what our lives involve. There is the threat of many sexually transmitted diseases, the religious harassment, hate crimes, discrimination and prejudice…not to mention fluorescent lighting, Formica coffee tables and poorly decorated apartments. But no matter who we are, fear is an emotion triggered by danger, and courting danger is a great way to feel alive.
Unfortunately, we live in a world in which horror is overwhelmingly heterosexist. Traditionally the victim of horror is a helpless female with jugs the size of basketballs caught up in events out of her control, often because of a male villain. You can see where this type of gender-based roles may not work as well for queer folk. Gay men have no romantic motivation for rescuing the pretty damsel in distress unless it’s about saving her from too much make-up, and lesbians are no longer willing to be assigned to that helpless role. What’s the matter? Don’t we have the same right to be slaughtered by psycho killers just like everyone else? Wouldn’t it be cool if we were trapped in a horror movie? And, how would we know if we are the victims of one? Remember this, if your friend uses SPF 3,000 sun block at the beach, you may be in a vampire film. If you hear someone ordering brains with their coffee at IHOP, you may be in a zombie movie. If a cat jumps out of every cabinet, dryer or tube of toothpaste, you’re in a slasher movie for sure!
Anyhow, what to be for Halloween… Girls, wouldn’t it be cool if you wore a chicken outfit and dressed it up with dark eyeliner, fishnet stockings and boots from Hot Topic? You would be a Goth Chick! Or try cutting your hair short, make it blonde and wear a straightjacket. You would be Anne Heche! Guys, wouldn’t it be awesome if you wore nothing but a big letter “X” in front of you and walked around with a knife to become a crazy psychotic “ex”? Feel free to print on the back of your shirt the phrase “Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?!” If you want to go for super scary, dress up as a bible thumper! You can’t go wrong with religious fanatics. All you need is outdated clothing, cowboy hats, signs that read ‘GAY = SIN’ and a crazy look on your face. Don’t forget to walk around believing you hold a truth that exalts you from the rest of humanity and you are good to go! Finally, the most affordable of all is the Village Idiot costume. All you’ll really need is a mask of President Correa from Ecuador, Hugo Chavez from Venezuela, Fidel Castro from Cuba or our own George Bush.
Whatever you choose to do this Halloween season, remember to always be safe! Avoid those razorblade-flavored candies, look both ways before crossing and do not put anything in your mouth that is not wrapped, especially if it comes from strangers. Happy Halloween, bitches!